Initially, I despised the human being’s nature of gossiping as I have a strong feeling that my standard would be lowered if I am involved in such shameful behaviour of stabbing the other’s back.

After being exposed to this cunning world for years, I am no longer ignorant and learned that gossiping is a direct and effective way to reserve myself a place in a group.  I might not need to voice out but I must at least lend my ears or show up in the group once in a while just to prove my loyalty and my activeness.

Recent days, I found the advantage and necessity of being in a group, especially if it is a powerful group.  At least, I will not be the first to be blamed on because somehow I am like under someone’s protection although, in fact, no one is doing this to me.  I am losing my ground gradually and yet I am letting it to happen without a sense of guilt. I don’t mean to be changed but it shouldn’t be controlled if I want to struggle for survival.  I never know it would be this tough to occupy a narrow seat in this world until I am placed in this situation, shedding tears and seeing crocodile’s tears shed by others.

I just can’t stop sighing when I see them being assembled, discussing and arguing over a small matter that weighs not even a single tiny cell.  Are narrow-minded people destined to see things in a frame?  There is always the one, who is proud of herself as if she is very well-educated and possesses high quality of life, to accuse others of their mistakes. You are not placed on the higher place to judge so what you should be proud of and judge others who are not doing things matching your expectation?  The most sarcastic is that there are some people who are reluctant to interfere what they were supposed to.

After all, I found that whether I appreciate it or not, I should clap my hands.  The applause was not for appreciation, but for courtesy. This, again, is a show performed to entertain person like me.